


Letters To My Army Guy

by charmed1



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Army, Best Friends, Blow Jobs, Crying, Death, Depression, Drinking, Established Relationship, Fighting, Gay, Gay Sex, Hangover, Letters, Love, M/M, Making Love, Mpreg, Sad, Sex, Soldiers, Suicide Attempt, Violence, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2014-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-08 19:17:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1136403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmed1/pseuds/charmed1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What did I ever do to deserve this?"</p><p>"Nothing, God just wants us all damned."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this just...okay.

Chapter One

  
They're relationship was like something out of a cheesy film. You know, the kisses in the rain, the late night phone calls just because one misses the other. They were the couple that made all their friends sick to their stomachs yet get butterflies at the same time, giving them hope that they'd find their one true love someday. They were disgustingly cute in the most awful way and that's what made them special. 

"I love you," Louis hummed as he sipped from the chocolate milkshake he and Harry were sharing in the local diner. His eyes were crystal blue and filled with love for the boy sitting across from him. "I love you quite a lot."

Harry, who never once took his eyes off of Louis for more than five seconds at a time, smiled a dazzling smile, one that could blind anyone. "Oh, is that so?" He mused, pursing his full lips for a moment, as if thinking. "Because I seem to love you way more than a lot." He winked cheekily, leaning forward on his elbows as he smirked challengingly at his boyfriend, a mischievious glint in his jade eyes.

Louis gasped, a small hand coming up and resting over his heart. "Excuse me? But I do believe that I love you most, Mr. Styles. I'll have you know that I love you most _est_ ," he emphasized the 'est', trying to make a point that Harry was having none of. Louis watched as the head of curls shook, pouting as he sat back in his seat.

"There's no possible way that you could love me more than I love you, darling. I'm sorry to break it to you, it's just how it is and how it will always be." Harry shrugged, his voice very matter-of-fact and Louis didn't like it one bit. "And don't pout, Lou. It'll give you age lines and you're way too young for those."

"You know, Harry," Louis started, narrowing his eyes and crossing his arms over his t-shirt covered chest. "I don't think you understand just how much I truly love you. I love you more than Ariel loves Eric, more than Belle loves the beast." He rolled his eyes and flicked his caramel colored fringe from his eyes. "There's just no denying it."

"Oh would you two stop before we throw up?" Zayn whined, he and Liam having been sitting next to the two of them the whole time. "You guys are becoming absolutely ridiculous now! 'Oh Hazza-bear, I love you so much!' 'No, LouLou! I love you more!' Give us a fucking break!"

Liam kicked his boyfriend under the table, scowling at him. "Zayn, don't be mean. They're in love just like we are. They just like to show it more," he murmured, his voice serene and calm just like it always has been. "There's nothing wrong with that. Besides," he sighed dreamily. "I think they're utterly adorable."

Harry gave Liam a grateful look, reaching across the table and taking Louis' tiny hand in his overly large one. "Thanks, Li," he beamed, squeezing Louis' hand. "And as for you Zee, don't be a grouch just because Liam's waiting until after marriage to lose his virginity." He teased lightly, nudging the raven haired boy with his shoulder. 

Louis giggled and bit his thin bottom lip, taking another sip of the milkshake from the red and white straw that he claimed to be 'adorably cute just like me!' Under the table, he ran his foot up and down Harry's calf, sparking up some small talk with Liam. "So, tell me about the wedding. What's the theme? What colors have you picked?"

As the two boys squealed and gossiped about Zayn and Liam's upcoming wedding, Harry only had his eyes on the one person who completed his world. He watched as Louis' nose crinkled when he laughed and how he spoke with his hands just a tad too much but who the hell was he to say that that wasn't okay? He was terribly infatuated with this boy and sure, some people would say it's unhealthy to love someone as much as Harry loved Louis, but that wasn't going to stop them from adoring each other for the rest of their lives.

**~**

**  
**"Lou?" Harry called out as he walked through the front door of their cozy, little flat, low, raspy voice echoing throughout the space. "I'm home, sweetheart!" He exclaimed, guessing Louis was either asleep or working on his college papers. He tossed his keys into the little dish next to the door and kicked off his shoes because Louis absolutely despised dirt. He shrugged off his coat and hummed a nameless tune to himself, hanging up the jacket in the hall closet.

"You could've at least made me lunch, ya know?" He joked happily, voice getting a bit louder and waiting for Louis' response. He padded his way into the kitchen, socked feet softly thudding on the hardwood floors. Harry pushed the door to the kitchen open, face immediatey falling when he found Louis sitting in the middle of the floor, that was covered in broken glasses and plates. Louis was sobbing, and if Harry said that seeing that boy cry wasn't the most heartbreaking sight in the world then he's be lying straight through his teeth. 

"Louis?" He breathed, hurrying over to his boyfriend and dropping to his knees, ignoring the sharp pains from the glass in his knees. He pulled the boy to his chest, one hand cradling Louis' head while the other pressed against his lower back. "Baby, what happened? Why all these tears? C'mon, breathe for me, yeah?" He stressed, voice strained as he begged the gods above to make Louis stop crying. 

Louis' body was shaking, sobs and cries quaking his small, fragile frame. He buried his face into Harry's broad chest, shoulders lifting up and down as he let out every painful sob that was in him. He tried breathing but god forbid that actually worked. How could it when he found out what was going to happen? Once he calmed down a bit, and his cried resolved into hiccups, he sniffled and moved his face away from Harry's now soaking shirt. He sighed and wiped his eyes, a shaky hand reaching out for the discarded paper he had thrown to the ground when his breakdown began. "Here," he croaked, handing it to Harry.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows and took the crumpled up paper from his boyfriend, smoothing it out a little before holding it up with one hand, the other still holding Louis to his body. He chewed his bottom lip, kind of scared if he was being honest.

"Greetings," Harry read aloud, swallowing the lump in his throat. "You are hereby ordered for induction into the US Army, and to report at The Salvation Army Headquarters, five fifty two Waters street, San Francisco, California on June fifth, two thousand thirteen at five fifteen a.m. for forwarding to a US Army Induction Station." He finished, voice cracking at the end. He was being drafted into the army? He could barely hear, barely think. 

"I can't lose you!" Louis screamed, a fresh tsunami of tears flooding his eyes as he collapsed into Harry's chest, shaking his head. "Please don't leave me, I need you!" He cried, bunching up his boyfriend's shirt and holding on for dear life as if that would keep Harry here. He rocked back and forth, breathing faltering once again.

Harry closed his eyes, jaw clenched as he scanned the letter over and over again. He had to sign it, which would verify that he was indeed going to be serving in the army. His breathing was slightly off but he couldn't let Louis see him weak, not when he was breaking already. "Louis, I-I have to go. But I swear to you that I will come back when it's time. I'll- I'll write to you every chance I get and let you know that I'm okay."

Louis whimpered, gasping for air now. "I don't want you to leave, what about getting married? Starting a family, Harry?" He whispered, voice cracking, thick with tears. How could this world be so cruel? He was having his one true love ripped right from him and there was nothing he could do.

"That will most definitely still happen, Louis. That's what will keep me fighting while I'm gone," Harry nodded and kissed Louis softly. "Nothing is going to tear us apart, not even this."

And Harry swore over and over again that night that he'd come back. But he couldn't help but think about that 'what if' in the back of his head.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What did I do to deserve this?"
> 
> "Nothing, God just wants us all damned."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it! xo

Chapter Two

  
  
-

It was hard. So fucking hard that somedays, Louis just didn't want to get up from bed, didn't want to eat, didn't want to do anything but cry. But Harry told him that that wasn't healthy and that he needed to eat, needed to get up and live life. Louis didn't like that idea very much but if that's what Harry wanted, how could he deny that? He felt as if his soul was slowly eroding away and he couldn't seem to get a good enough grip on it to pull it back it. Or maybe he didn't want it back, maybe he wanted to watch it slowly drift away so he could finally get some rest from the surrounding world. Maybe if he just-

"Lou?" Harry said softly, snapping his fingers in front of his boyfriend's sullen face. He was worried, so much so that he wanted to rip his hair out of his scalp. "Louis, are you okay?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern as he searched Louis' eyes for some sort of spark.

Louis slowly blinked, eyes finally moving from his tea to Harry, finally realizing the curly haired boy had been calling his name for a few minutes. "What?" He mumbled, speech slow, voice strained. He didn't want to talk, there was no point in talking, really. None of the words he said would make Harry stay with him and not leave in two days.

"I asked if you were okay. You've been distant, darling, and I'm worried sick now. All you've been doing is moping around and staring off into space. I'm leaving in two days, Lou. I need to spend as much time with you as possible because when I say goodbye in that Salvation Army, I'm gone for three whole years and if I don't co-"

"Don't you dare say it," Louis hissed, eyes suddenly becoming dark and angry, jaw clenched. "Don't you dare say it because dammit, Harry, you are coming back to me and we're starting this fucking family. You're coming back and then you're staying, you are never going anywhere." He growled, his voice menacing, almost scary. "If I lose you, I'm done. I'm telling you this right now, Harry. If you don't come back, there's no way in hell I'm staying."

Harry swallowed the swelling lump in his throat, looking down at the table as he fingered at his coffee cup. "Lou, I'm coming back," he sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, thinking. "Why don't we go stay in bed for the day, yeah? Just do nothing but be with each other?" He suggested, looking back up at his boyfriend with sad, cloudy green eyes. 

Louis nodded after a minute, standing up stiffly and playing with the hem of Harry's sweater, the one that was Louis' favorite and always had with him. "Okay, but I'm laying on you. Maybe that'll stop you from leaving me." He muttered under his breath before heading upstairs.

**~**

"Please don't go," Louis sobbed, practically on his knees as he begged Harry to stay. He held onto his boyfriend as if his life depended on it, which in actuality, it did. He shook head and cried into Harry's chest, arms wrapped tightly around the boy's waist. "I need you, I can't let you go like this! Please, H-Harry, don't go!" He nearly screamed, slim frame shaking with heart wrenching tears. How could this be happening? How could the love of his life be ripped away from him this easily?

Harry's heart had broke the day they got the letter, but now, his whole body was shattered. He didn't feel the same today, and didn't look the same either. His curls were limp, his eyes weren't sparkling. His face was pale and his lips were drawn down into a frown that didn't suit his normally cheery face in general. He didn't want to leave, he really,  _really_ didn't want to leave but god forbid someone had to play this sick trick on the two of them. "I-I don't want too, baby. But you know I h-have to." He finally managed to get out, trying to ignore the way is voice cracked a few different times.

"What did I ever do to deserve this?" Louis whimpered, hiccups leaving his thin, bitten lips. He was a complete mess, not even dressed in actual clothes, just his pajamas. He looked up at Harry, the love of his life, and sniffled, eyes red and puffy from all the crying he did the past few days.

"Nothing, God just wants us all damned." Harry muttered, cringing when he heard his name being called to board the flight. He took a shaky breath and closed his eyes, feeling like he was about the throw up. "O-Okay, I need to-"

Louis shook his head quickly, almost like a bobble head. "No!" He screeched, voice breaking as fresh tears bursted from his eyes like a broken dam. "Harry, please!"

Harry swallowed thickly, sniffling as the tears he's been holding in finally made their way out and down his cheeks. "I love you, Louis. I love you so fucking much and I promise I'll come back. I'll write to you and I'll skype whenever I can, okay? I promise." He murmured, pressing a searing kiss to Louis' lips, kissing him like it was their last and maybe it would be.

"I love you, I love you, I love you." Louis mumbled against Harry's lips, the lips he'd miss kissing whenever he wanted. He pulled back and looked up into the eyes he'd miss looking into when he woke up in the morning. He took Harry's hands, which he'd miss holding onto when they walked around town together. "Come back to me." He whispered.

"I will, I swear." Harry nodded, kissing Louis once more before taking a step back when his name was called again. "I love you, Louis. I'll see you soon." He murmured and that was the last thing Louis heard him say before Harry turned and walked into the terminal. He looked back and waved then disappeared.

Louis was afraid that he did just disappear, and that's what scared him the most.


End file.
